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Unfaithfulness - Infidelity
On unfaithfulness, infidelity and cheating on one’s partner
Various reasons can be responsible for a break-down of a relationship. Reasons for this could be e. g preceding relationship problems or intractable long-distance relationships. Sad front runner is however, the unfaithfulness as the most frequent cause of deep relationship crises. Statistically every other man and every other cheats on the partner at least once in a lifespan of the relationship. Even though cheating appears to be accepted as normal, the outcome of it is devastating and decisive for the further course of the relationship. As attractive a bit of cheating can be for one partner, as hurtful it is for the one being cheated.
Not every unfaithful partner is aware of the fact that he or she is actually jeopardising the entire relationship. In most cases the unfaithful partner neither wants to lose his current partner nor does he want to establish another lasting relationship with someone new. The playing around partner is mainly interested in sexual fun and excitement. He is being lured by the notion of adventure and sexual satisfaction. The urge and temptation is stronger than the guilty conscience which makes the cheating possible at all.
It is a different matter with couples who are unhappy together and are faced to deal with considerable relationship problems. For those, the cheating is more than just a brief affair without meaning. They are basically looking for things missing in their current relationship and lacking in their partner. Subconsciously these people are constantly searching for a new relationship or love affair. The reason behind is either both partners do not harmonize any more or one of them does not appreciate the love of the other any more. Basically all the cheating means that the relationship is out of balance, however, it becomes critical if there are hardly any feelings left for the partner. In such cases a separation is often the best alternative.
If the feelings are not sufficiently present in the relationship, many are having difficulties to initiate the final break-up. They are hiding their unfaithful behaviour and the affair out of lack of respect, indifference or shame and end up living in two worlds. It is mostly a matter of time until this game of hide-and-seek finally leads to a down-fall. Only a few can cleverly hide the sometimes very distinct changes of behaviour Often they betray themselves by contradicting excuses, a changed body language or by an accomplished loyalty test. The cheated partner does not only feel deceived but sees behind the act of unfaithfulness the mismatched levels of love. Anger wells up after pointlessly offering unconditional trust and the time invested in the relationship. It is even more difficult to deal with the thought that there is someone who appears to be better than oneself. The self-esteem is at an all-time low, and the automatic comparison with the Affair works heavily on the nerves.
If you have already cheated on your partner then you should think carefully if you would rather confess your slip-up to your partner or not. There are people who can forgive a mistake and give the relationship another chance. There are, no doubt others who are not as tolerant are simply not emotionally in the position to forgive and forget such a breach of trust. Basically honesty and sincerity are the foundations of a lasting stable relationship. In many cases, however, this can lead to a break-up. A small little white lie has never really caused serious damage to a relationship, however a concealed infidelity from the partner can shatter the trust to such intensity that a continuation of the relationship is no longer possible. Should you now confess your act of unfaithfulness or not, depends entirely of your partner and your conscience as well as your motives behind the act. If you are not able to cope with the partnership and your bad conscience then you better confess your cheating and show remorse. You need to convey the feeling to your partner that you will change and never cheat again. Only this way you can hope that your partner may ever forgive you and give you and the relationship another chance. Furthermore, as the unfaithful partner you should seriously think about the relationship and what led you to be unfaithful, and be clear if you really want to save the relationship in the first place.
Basically there must be something wrong in the relationship if you find it necessary to cheat. Probably, as mentioned earlier a painless separation may be in order.
The cheated partner must face the question if a one-time mistake should be forgiven or not. One must be aware of the fact that the least people will change fundamentally as a result of incidents no matter how significant. The chances are high that the cheating partner will do it again. They are either lacking the necessary respect for the people they are dealing with, or they consider their actions as not particularly dramatic. For the affected party the trust has been shaken which will increase the urge to control the partner even more. This again causes more tension and does not make the overcoming of the cheating problem any easier. Ask yourself as the cheated party if you really need this type of treatment and if you should put up with the cheating. If the necessary respect is missing then basically the required measure of love necessary for a happy relationship is missing too. If you are prepared to forgive, then you must face the fact that by cheating your partner has already signalled the readiness to face the risk of terminating the relationship.
If you are entertaining the thought of cheating on your partner, then you should try to thoroughly analyse the advantages and positive aspects of your relationship. Not every person is happier after an infidelity. Many have bitterly regretted their cheating and wish they could turn back the time. In such cases the feeling of adventure and sexual satisfaction can quickly turn into the feeling of loneliness and disappointment over one’s own stupidity. Therefore think carefully if a short adventure is worth it, and if it means more than the achieved togetherness. Keep focused on your goals in life and ask yourself if an act of unfaithfulness would not ruin more than it may offer for that brief moment.
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