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Jealousy in a relationship
Suggestions on dealing with jealousy in a relationship
Jealousy is the term describing fear or the feeling that the beloved partner is paying a considerable amount of attention to another person. There are two decisive matters that will set off the feeling of jealousy. Firstly the fear of losing the partner is dominant, and secondly the self respect is suffering considerably when one suspects that the beloved partner is bestowing his or her attention and affection upon another person.
A healthy, moderate portion of jealousy is something quite normal and only shows the partner how much one loves and desires him or her. If this form of jealousy is missing completely, in other words, if there are never any jealous reactions, there can be no talk of true love. Ultimately, indifference is not exactly a display of strong feelings or of any particular interest in the relationship.
These days mostly negative associations are connected to jealousy. However, this feeling is at least occasionally present in most people who are in love. A certain sensible amount of jealousy is mostly tolerated by both partners. Is the jealousy excessive and abnormal, its increased levels will achieve the contrary of what was intended. It will only cause distrust and make the whole relationship suffer under the strain.
We often tend to project our own behaviour onto the partner or other people. If one is a notorious philanderer, he or she is only too ready to believe that other people around us do not place too much importance on faithfulness and honesty as well. This elementary false estimate harbours a large problem: the maybe most faithful and honest partner will be unjustly observed and scrutinised and wrongly suspected. The least suspicion will be enough to set off an exaggerated reaction of jealousy and lead to unnecessary quarrels. The healthy common sense will simply be turned off and the feelings will take control. However, rage and false conceptions are not a good advisor and only worsen the potential relationship problems. The partner’s scope of action is immensely limited by this behaviour which makes the normal everyday interaction with the members of the opposite sex nearly impossible. Basically the partner always associates the increased jealousy as a sign of lack of trust. However, as everyone knows, trust in a relationship is most important. Without it sooner or later the failure of the relationship is inevitable as the continuous conflicts will successively grate down every bit of the feeling of love.
Abnormal jealousy in a relationship is instrumentally responsible that in the long run both partners feel unhappy and discontented. One cannot keep a partner in the long term by “locking him or her up” without any valid reason and constrain his / her freedom. Most people like their self-determination and react with a clear defensive demeanour when some one tries to impair it. Only if a person is able to develop freely in the relationship does he feel really happy and does not feel the need to seek another partner. However, these circumstances are easily overlooked by abnormally jealous people. They literally chase their beloved partner away with their exaggerated fear and suspicion. And this only because of the urge to control the partner so that they don’t get secretly cheated upon is stronger than any rationality.
If so far your partner hasn’t disappointed you, it is advisable to have unrestricted confidence in him or her, and if any suspicions arise, first try to find out what caused the jealousy in the first place. Is there a real reason for it? Is it only a product of the partner’s fantasy due to a lack of trust? Forget your previous disappointments and don’t suspect the current partner without reason of unfaithful thoughts and deeds. Only after a solid proof should you confront your partner with the facts.
As healthy and reviving a bit of jealousy can be, as treacherous can it turn out to be and destroy the relationship mercilessly if a certain measure is exceeded over a longer period of time. Therefore try to evaluate the situation soberly and impartially. Behind your suspicions are often numerous banalities which do not justify your jealousy in the least. Always beware of sprouting feelings which can spread like poison and endanger your relationship unnecessarily.
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